


free

by colderthancold



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, also set in a so very vague au, honoka is mentioned, really open ending, tagged kotoumi as a couple bc it's way too implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 15:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15270063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colderthancold/pseuds/colderthancold
Summary: “Close your eyes and set me free.”





	free

“Close your eyes and set me free.” Were Kotori’s words, and Umi’s answer was just trying not to scream. She was closing her eyes because she couldn’t do anything else. She was kicking her legs and waving her arms because she couldn’t do anything else. She was there because she couldn’t be anywhere else.

She stopped and took a deep breath, which came out as a silent whisper. She kicked her legs once more. They hurt like hell. She whimpered and tried to stand up. The results were less than acceptable.

“Come on, Umi-chan. Just calm down.” And Kotori’s words did calm her down. Things had been getting out of hand, lately, but Kotori’s presence (her omnipotent presence) was still the same. Be that good or be that bad. Umi gulped even though her mouth was dry. She had calmed down, yes, but her heart was still racing like crazy.

“I can’t.” She said. Her words sounded tired even though she had been on the same little spot for hours or days. Kicking her legs had become something tiring, apparently, and that was disappointing. She could still remember the feeling of running, but not enough to hold onto it.

“You can, but you don’t want to.” Kotori’s words were harsh and accusing and Umi’s heart broke a bit. “I’m sorry. But I’m right, aren’t I? You’ll miss me if I’m gone.” She said. Umi’s eyes, now open behind the piece of cloth that covered them, watered. She didn’t want to cry.

“You’re all I have, now.” Umi said, maybe remembering Honoka, her voice breaking. But Honoka couldn’t hear Kotori, so it was different.

“Umi-chan… I didn’t want to tell you, but I’ll do it still. I’ll do that because I love you and you only. The thing is that if you set me free, I’ll give you wings. You just need —I just need— for you to set me free, then you’ll have wings and you’ll be able to be free, too.” She said.

“Like Honoka.” Umi answered, hugging her legs.

“Yes, like Honoka-chan.” And they stopped talking because talking about Honoka was way too painful. Sometimes Umi could still hear her dumb chuckles and picture the constellations that formed in her eyes, and that made her feel even sadder. She didn’t know how much time had passed since Honoka’s disappearance but it sure felt like an eternity.

“So, will you?” Kotori asked after a few minutes. Umi didn’t say anything and managed to fall asleep only to dream about her probably bloody legs and her probably bruised arms. In her dream, she was fighting. She won against whatever she was fighting with but ended up falling in a black hole still. She wanted to scream but she couldn’t, and as she fell she could hear Kotori’s voice— “Close your eyes, Umi-chan. Set me free”. Then, everything was black. Again.

She was still falling when she woke up to feel a warm non-physical embrace. Kotori. She hadn’t been able to sleep much ever since she had been thrown there and supposed she had slept just for a few minutes. She tried to hold onto Kotori. She couldn’t. That broke her heart in an even more painful way than usual because it reminded her that Kotori wasn’t really there— that she could (maybe) not exist.

“Please.” Umi whispered. “Stay with me.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. She was trembling and hugging herself in desperation. She wanted something to hold onto.

“It’ll kill you.” And before Umi could answer, Kotori added: “And if you say you’d rather die here than free, then I’ll be the one that kills you.” And Umi wanted to believe she wasn’t being serious, but she was. She placed her closed fists on the sides of her head. She just felt like exploding. She started coughing. Her mouth tasted like blood.

“I don’t know how.” She said after some minutes. “I don’t know how to set you free.” ‘And I don’t even know what you are, for that matter’, she wanted to add, but wondering what Kotori was had stopped being an issue years ago, when Kotori stopped answering questions regarding her nature. Eventually Umi had stopped caring (or stopped asking).

“Close your eyes and imagine me.” Kotori said. Umi frowned.

“I don’t know how you look.”

“Imagine, I said.”

And she imagined. She ended up thinking about a girl that looked like an angel and had sad looking eyes and soft yet goddess-like factions. The girl was giving her her back, sometimes looking back above her shoulder and glaring at her, having a beautiful eye-smile. Umi felt weird upon the picture her imagination had created. She couldn’t remember a time of her life without Kotori, yes, but she also couldn’t remember trying to picture how she’d look.

“Now, set me free.” Kotori’s voice sounded careful and testing, as if Umi only had one chance to do what she was being asked correctly.

“How?”

“Just do.” And Umi did. And she felt something weird happen. Then, she opened her eyes. The cloth was still covering them. She took it off. She was still trapped in that small and dirty tower. She looked at her arms and legs. They looked as bad as she had thought, so she didn’t really care. The chains that were around them, however, were gone.

“For the love of god, Kotori…” She muttered, cleaning the tears that rolled down her face yet one more time. “I—” And she felt them. Wings, wings the her back of her body. She flapped them. They didn’t hurt. In fact, flapping them made her feel stronger. She tried to stand up and did so after five tries. She flew where the window was and sat on the edge of it. She was in the middle of a never ending country-side kind of thing. She looked at the sun and her eyes closed. It was too bright and warmer than she remembered.

But she smiled.

She started to fly towards the sun.

“Here I come.” She said. “Wait for me, Kotori, Honoka.” And as she said that, she started to fall. And needless to say, she had never been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to try writing something like this. like a vague au. so here it is! hope yall liked it. take care, remember to smile and peace out! o7


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